1 00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,284 Ok, chase. There's something I gotta do, 2 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,737 and it's not gonna be pretty. 3 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,500 I tried to put it off, but the time has come, 4 00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:07,828 and like ripping off a band-aid, 5 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,620 if I do it fast, maybe it won't hurt. 6 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,361 Ma, chase. Chase, ma. 7 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,227 [Laughter] 8 00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:16,098 It's really nice to meet you, chase. 9 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,540 I brought you my famous Phyllis navidadfruitcake. 10 00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,147 [Laughter] 11 00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,537 I have heard so many great things about you. 12 00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:25,461 - So cute. So handsome. - [Chase chuckles] 13 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,328 Pleasure to meet you, too, Mrs. Thorne. 14 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,809 What's wrong with you? No interrogation? 15 00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,821 No humiliating anecdotes about my childhood? 16 00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:36,043 - No request for grandbabies? - [Laughter] 17 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,393 Nope. I'm good. See ya. 18 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:42,170 Ok, this is not the woman I told you about. 19 00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:44,129 - I swear she's crazy. - [Laughter] 20 00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:46,658 Oh, Mona, by the way, don't drink too much eggnog. 21 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:48,382 You know how it gives you the bubble guts. 22 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:49,919 [Laughter] 23 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,486 Now that's the mom I told you about. 24 00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,618 [Introductory theme song] 25 00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:59,886 ♪ through this journey of discovery ♪ 26 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:04,412 ♪ you finding you I'm finding me ♪ 27 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:07,109 ♪ now that I have someone special ♪ 28 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:09,547 ♪ who brings out the joy ♪ 29 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,684 ♪ brings out the joy inside of me ♪ 30 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,117 ♪ inside of me ♪ 31 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,214 ♪ we can become whatever we want ♪ 32 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,773 ♪ all we need is lovin' ♪ 33 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,731 ♪ that's the way I feel it should be ♪ 34 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,910 ♪ you and me ♪ 35 00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:26,906 [Off-key] ♪ me ♪ 36 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,779 [Ironic laughter] 37 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,269 [Introductory musical note] 38 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:35,623 Mona, you've been straightening up for over an hour. 39 00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:37,554 I never thought I'd say this about your apartment, 40 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:38,855 but there's nothing left to be done. 41 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:40,361 [Laughter] 42 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:42,748 I know. I like things to be nice for chase, 43 00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:44,361 and would it kill you to use a coaster? 44 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:48,504 Wow. Usually you don't start obsessing like this 45 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,846 over a guy until after you've slept with him. 46 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,846 [Laughter] [Cheerful humming] 47 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,124 - What was that? - Uhm, what? 48 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:59,083 That guilty pause you took there. Wait. 49 00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,862 You already slept with him, didn't you? 50 00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,506 All right, I did. 51 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,300 Why didn't you tell me? 52 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:06,685 Well, we've only been dating for a few weeks, 53 00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:09,608 and usually, I wait at least six dates before I, you know... 54 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,504 Give it up? Lay it on him? Open the cookie jar? 55 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:12,872 [Laughter] 56 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,959 Well, yeah, and I don't want him to think i'm, you know... 57 00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,489 A floozy? A whore? A trick? 58 00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,363 [Laughter] 59 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:21,664 Working with all guys. 60 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,150 Has really improved your vocabulary. 61 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,357 Well, now that you've given him that gift, 62 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,800 what's he supposed to unwrap on Christmas morning? 63 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,667 I don't have enough to worry about? 64 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,109 I'm already thinking 65 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:34,235 I've gone too fast, too soon with chase. 66 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,678 I'm just not sure I'm strong enough to resist him. 67 00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,765 In fact, I know I'm not. 68 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,424 Well, if it'll help, I can stay a while after he gets here, 69 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,919 and we'll talk about the pros and cons, 70 00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,555 of the raiders' offense and then no one 71 00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:46,512 will feel the need to take their clothes off. 72 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,911 - [Laughter] - Good idea. Thank you, Dee Dee. 73 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:49,994 [Knock on door] 74 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,000 [Both] Hey. 75 00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,090 [Laughter] 76 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,444 [Cheerful humming] 77 00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,189 Well, glad I could help. 78 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:10,356 [Laughter] 79 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:11,711 [Introductory musical note] 80 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,668 You know what Glen did for me today? 81 00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:16,539 He organized my spice rack. 82 00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,071 I loves me some him. 83 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,464 [Laughter] 84 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,767 You know what chase did? He made me dinner, 85 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:24,603 and he stayed for breakfast. And he made that, too. [Laughs] 86 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,642 I got a man. You got a man. 87 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,898 Life is pretty good for the Thorne birds. 88 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,431 [Knock on door] 89 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:31,694 Ho ho hello. 90 00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,556 [Laughter] 91 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,218 Our streak just ended. 92 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,002 [Laughter] 93 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,476 We have a little announcement. 94 00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:40,386 Hmm. "A gala celebration 95 00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:42,961 of excellence. The bay area legends ball." 96 00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,398 Well, what is this? 97 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,265 Mother is throwing her own legends ball 98 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,136 since she was inspired by Oprah. 99 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,188 Don't you mean snubbed by Oprah? 100 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:51,543 [Laughter] 101 00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:53,282 A postal snafu. 102 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,973 I will be honoring influential actors, musicians, 103 00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,721 all those politicians. 104 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,412 Sugar lump, you must come. All the stars will be there. 105 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,851 It's a perfect opportunity 106 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,937 to expose you to civilized society. 107 00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,586 So, what are we supposed to wear? 108 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,270 You can wear your fuzzy slippers and robe. 109 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,250 - You're not invited. - [Laughter] 110 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:13,251 It's for important people. Lots to do. Ta ta. 111 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,470 [Laughter] 112 00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,128 Don't feel bad. I doubt I'd be invited 113 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,524 if I weren't coordinating the whole thing. 114 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:21,908 [Cell phone rings] 115 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,920 Ooh, it's Glen. It's our sweet talk time. 116 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,612 I'm going in the other room. 117 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,550 I thought you came over so we can have bonding time. 118 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:30,051 I've been bonding with you for 28 years. We're good. 119 00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,309 [Laughter] 120 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,581 So needy! 121 00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:33,843 [Laughter] 122 00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,095 [Introductory musical note] 123 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:39,451 So? What's your big news? This is a place of business, 124 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,590 and some of us have to pretend like we're working. 125 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:42,982 [Laughter] 126 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,325 I wanted to share my news 127 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:45,724 with the people I see every day, 128 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,107 my co-workers, my friends, 129 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,679 and those who I pass in the hallway 130 00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,766 and choose not to speak to. 131 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,465 [Laughter] 132 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,953 Since I got promoted and it's the season for giving, 133 00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:57,303 I figured I'd treat myself to a big, new toy. 134 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,044 Who just bought that big ass truck 135 00:04:59,124 --> 00:05:00,604 takin' up three parking spaces? 136 00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:01,781 [Laughter] 137 00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,556 Spencer, you bought a truck. 138 00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:07,181 Not just any truck. It's the new onslaught. 139 00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,223 Don't you know the first rule of business? 140 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,399 No one should have a bigger car than the boss. 141 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:12,485 That would be me. 142 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,009 [Laughter] 143 00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,766 The second rule is when the boss gets to work, 144 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,453 the workers should be working. 145 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:18,804 That'd be you. 146 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:20,623 [Laughter] 147 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,241 And not pretending like they're working. 148 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,543 That would be you. 149 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:25,628 [Laughter] 150 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,210 Mona. You missed the staff meeting. 151 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,456 Where were you? 152 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:33,248 It's over? It never ends this early. 153 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,993 You weren't there to give the aandr report. 154 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,353 Without your long-winded details, 155 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:37,823 we finished in record time. 156 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,302 [Laughter] 157 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:40,912 I'm just running a little late. 158 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,302 Chase and I overslept. 159 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,126 Don't worry. We covered for you. 160 00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,654 Thank you. 161 00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,607 Well, look who decided to join us. 162 00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:51,436 Hi. I'm really sorry that I'm late. 163 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,085 No worries. Adam already told me 164 00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:55,308 about your sister's emergency appendectomy. 165 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,248 Spencer told me you had to have your stomach pumped 166 00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,599 after an episode with a bad shrimp. 167 00:05:58,619 --> 00:05:59,619 Rough morning, huh? 168 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,187 Kai, you know I wouldn't be late 169 00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,894 unless I had a really good reason. 170 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,542 What's done is done, 171 00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,336 but the next time you get your friends to lie for you, 172 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,147 pick somebody with some sense. That would not be you, 173 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:12,019 and that definitely would not be you. 174 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,460 [Laughter] 175 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,237 [Introductory musical note] 176 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:17,251 - [Knock on door] - Thank you so much. Bye-bye. 177 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,343 Hey, how's my little party planner doing? 178 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:22,032 Well, I just ordered 30 cases of champagne, 179 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,360 and I got the Christmas garland 180 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,713 and the mistletoe for the ballroom. 181 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,172 Mother's finally approved 182 00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:28,035 the second mold for her ice sculpture bust. 183 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,626 She thought the first one made her look like little Richard. 184 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:30,780 [Laughter] 185 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:32,168 I saw it. She was right. 186 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:36,088 Well, there is a little bad news. 187 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,478 I just got the responses 188 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,401 from ten legends who can't attend. 189 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,356 The poitiers, the spielbergs, 190 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,534 the cosbys, and not one Jackson. 191 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,100 Not even tito? 192 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,447 [Laughter] 193 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,886 Not even rebbie. 194 00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,632 [Laughter] 195 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,983 I don't get it. Mother's always supporting their causes. 196 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,803 Well, just keep planning. 197 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,681 Your mother's been a little depressed lately 198 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,553 about her acting career not taking off. 199 00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,334 So, this party has got to be a success. 200 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,379 Money is no object. 201 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,624 I've never actually heard you speak those words before. 202 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,381 I know. I accidentally took one 203 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,039 of your mother's pills this morning. 204 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:09,253 [Laughter] 205 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:10,731 [Frantic knocking on door] 206 00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:16,132 - Hi, Mona. - Spencer, I'm kinda busy. 207 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,998 Doing what? I need help! 208 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,829 Hey, Spence. What's up? 209 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,177 [Cheerful humming] 210 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,049 Oh, now I know what you were doing. 211 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,139 [Laughter] 212 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,492 Did you want something? 213 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,488 Just a few bucks until next week. 214 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,580 I had to pay my mortgage today and get my hair did. 215 00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:33,669 [Laughter] 216 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,586 I'm taking a date to dinner tonight, 217 00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,413 and I'm coming up a little short. 218 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,171 You don't have enough money to pay for your date's dinner? 219 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,458 - That's sad. - [Laughter] 220 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,856 My new onslaught's got a 30-gallon tank. 221 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,122 It's putting a hurtin' on the brother's finances. 222 00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:49,245 Well, probably something you should've thought about 223 00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,044 before you sunk your life savings 224 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:53,482 - into your Christmas present. - But this truck is my dream! 225 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,261 [Scoffs] 226 00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,535 Even if it only gets 10 miles per gallon on the highway. 227 00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,565 [Laughter] 228 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,659 Unless I'm carting one of my healthier honeys, 229 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,094 then I'm down to 7. 230 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,960 [Laughter] 231 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:09,311 Well, I drive a hybrid that gets 60 miles per gallon. 232 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,621 See, the more fuel we burn, 233 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:11,817 the more carbon dioxide we create, 234 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:12,969 and everybody knows 235 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,417 that contributes to global warming. 236 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,504 [Laughter] 237 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:20,948 So, Mona, you gonna lend me all that cash? 238 00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:21,978 [Laughter] 239 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,551 - Whatever makes you go away. - Yes. 240 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,375 Oh, and try to date some skinny girl, 241 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:28,643 so this will last longer. 242 00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:29,725 [Laughter] 243 00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:31,951 [Introductory musical note] 244 00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,472 [Knock on door] 245 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,562 You're late. Grab a box of chocolates 246 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,737 and a Dee Dee la fontaine cd and get to tying. 247 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,392 Sorry. I got kind of wrapped up with chase. 248 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,349 Yeah, yeah. More sex than you can handle. 249 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,477 Stop bragging. 250 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,009 [Laughter] 251 00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:50,092 Well, when chase and I first started dating, 252 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,531 we talked all the time, 253 00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,878 and we had a real spiritual connection. 254 00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:56,228 Now it's nothing but hot and sweaty passion. 255 00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,578 Only you can turn great sex into a problem. 256 00:08:58,668 --> 00:08:59,798 [Laughter] 257 00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,367 You find something you like, 258 00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:02,983 and you overindulge until you burn out. 259 00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,594 You did it with those spicy noodles, 260 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,264 you did it with spongebob, and now chase. 261 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,814 [Laughter] 262 00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,895 I know. I'm just a weak, horny starch lover 263 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,334 addicted to a kooky sea sponge. 264 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,810 [Laughter] 265 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,510 Take a breather so you can enjoy 266 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,207 other parts of your relationship. 267 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,174 Muster up some will power and tell chase: 268 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,823 "No, thank you. Not tonight." 269 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:22,777 Well, easy for you to say. You're not gettin' any. 270 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:24,426 Sorry. Still bragging. 271 00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,605 Anyway, how's the legends ball coming? 272 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,787 Fine, if any legends were actually coming. 273 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,963 They've all rsvp'd no. 274 00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:34,969 I just hope my mother's strong enough to handle the news. 275 00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,662 Why's my life a living hell? 276 00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,489 I've been turned down for the lowest of acting jobs. 277 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,280 I was so desperate, I auditioned 278 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,994 for the Oakland children's theater production 279 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,238 of a lonely toad. 280 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:46,463 [Laughter] 281 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,303 Apparently, I didn't capture the true essence 282 00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,371 of mama hippity hop. 283 00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:51,849 [Laughter] 284 00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,379 There'll be other roles, mom. 285 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:57,553 I'm no fool. My acting career is hanging by a thread. 286 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,140 The only thing I have to look forward to 287 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,693 is my legends ball. How's that going, dear? 288 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,125 Uh, the ball is, uh... 289 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,082 Gonna be like nothing you ever imagined. 290 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,300 [Laughter] 291 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,649 [Introductory musical note] 292 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,000 [Knock on door] 293 00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:15,531 Chase. What are you doing here? 294 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,825 Thought I'd surprise you. 295 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,622 Can't work late on an empty stomach. 296 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,706 Aw. That's so sweet. 297 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,965 It's also a cover. 298 00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,928 I just couldn't stay away from you. 299 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,543 I don't think this is such a good idea. 300 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,461 I still have a lot of work to do. 301 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:34,545 Like what? 302 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:37,460 Um, oh. I forgot. 303 00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:38,549 [Laughter] 304 00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,037 [Laughter] 305 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:53,436 [Introductory musical note] 306 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,476 [Animated song] 307 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,309 Hey. Why is your new truck collecting dust 308 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,557 in the parking structure? It hasn't been moved in days. 309 00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,137 I'm leaving it here, because I'm trying 310 00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:05,187 to cut back on driving until gas prices drop. 311 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,323 [Laughter] 312 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,277 Been riding my bike to work. 313 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:10,504 [Laughter] 314 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,238 And stealing food from the mouths 315 00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,504 of hungry co-workers? 316 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,236 Hard times are spreading just like my ass 317 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:17,457 since I have up pilates. 318 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,416 [Laughter] 319 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,594 I prefer to think of it as a reallocation 320 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,201 of my current lifestyle funds. 321 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,161 Broke is broke, my brother. 322 00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,599 [Laughter] 323 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,896 If you're gonna take food, 324 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,271 at least wait for the good stuff. 325 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,950 The bear claws arrive in ten minutes. 326 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:32,228 I didn't know we had bear claws. 327 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,476 No one does. 328 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:34,562 [Laughter] 329 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,520 Mona. At last. When I was flirting 330 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,220 with the security guard this morning, 331 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,398 I found out that chase signed in at 8:00 last night. 332 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,534 When he signed out, he smelled like perfume, 333 00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:46,456 his clothes were wrinkled, and he was missing a sock. 334 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,318 [Laughter] 335 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,603 A sock I saw flung passionately across your filing cabinet. 336 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:51,622 What say you? 337 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,842 I say that rent-a-cop needs to get a life, 338 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,671 and you need to stay out of my office. 339 00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,499 So it's true. 340 00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,937 You finally decided to become a tramp like the rest of us. 341 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,724 [Laughter] 342 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:05,289 Look, I don't want to talk to you right now. 343 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,806 Mona, I need to talk to you right now. 344 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,601 - Me? - Did I stutter? 345 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:10,685 [Laughter] 346 00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:13,602 What does she want? 347 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,619 I don't know, but I'll listen at the door and find out. 348 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,647 [Laughter] 349 00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,867 [Laughter] 350 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,178 Do you have any idea why I'm here? 351 00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,435 Uh... should I? 352 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,008 [Laughter] 353 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,575 I decided to work late last night. 354 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,272 How late exactly? 355 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,580 Late enough to know that I don't want to sit down 356 00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:35,886 where naked butts have been. 357 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,192 [Laughter] 358 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,148 That late, huh? 359 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,016 Look, it's ok to have fun and be in love 360 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,368 and all that mess, 361 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,107 but don't let your personal life 362 00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,768 get in the way of important things, like your job. 363 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:49,383 Kai, I am so sorry that you had to see what you saw, 364 00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:50,604 and how much did you see? 365 00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:51,862 [Laughter] 366 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,415 Too much of you, not enough of him. 367 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,604 But the point is no one should be having sex at work, 368 00:12:57,689 --> 00:13:00,079 especially when the boss is experiencing a drought. 369 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,690 [Laughter] 370 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,781 Y'all really need to learn the rules around here. 371 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,740 Don't make me start posting signs. 372 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:06,828 [Laughter] 373 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,222 [Introductory musical note] 374 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,966 So, Glen is taking me to some fancy seafood spot. 375 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,486 Usually, I'd eat before we go out, 376 00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:18,929 that way I'm not hungry, 377 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,205 and I can order something light and cute, 378 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,584 but it's been two months, 379 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,990 it's time he saw my real appetite. 380 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,189 [Laughter] 381 00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,631 No one needs to see that, ma. 382 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:27,718 [Knock on door] 383 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,770 [Coughs] Hey, chase. 384 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,877 Hey, Mona. Everything ok? I've been calling you all day. 385 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,433 I'm sorry, I'm not feeling so hot, 386 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,523 so I'll call you later. 387 00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,562 Well, baby, can I get you some soup or something? 388 00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,427 I mean, you know I make a mean theraflu tea. 389 00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:45,959 [Laughter] 390 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,782 That's sweet, but no. I'll call you later. 391 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,520 Ok. Feel better. 392 00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:51,131 What the hell was that? 393 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,701 [Laughter] 394 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,698 I just need some time to think. 395 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,050 You've had time. Years by your damn self time. 396 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,320 You got a man now. It's man time. 397 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:00,973 [Laughter] 398 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:03,357 I just haven't figured out exactly how to tell chase 399 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,541 I think we need to slow things down. 400 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:06,887 Try the truth. 401 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,067 Baby, your relationship with chase is new, 402 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:13,033 and this is the time you should be totally open and honest. 403 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:15,383 Save the lies and cover-ups for after you're married. 404 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,203 - [Laughter] - I suppose. 405 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,211 So, go ahead and get it all out now 406 00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:20,853 while he still thinks you're interesting 407 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,583 and actually listens to what you have to say. 408 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,600 [Laughter] 409 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,001 Oh. Cancel your plans for Saturday. 410 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,433 You're invited to mother's legends ball. 411 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,170 I thought I wasn't important enough. 412 00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,611 You are now. Dress pretty, 413 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,067 bring your friends, tell your patients. 414 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,180 [Laughter] 415 00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:37,785 Sounds like my sweet 16 party. 416 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,617 I just need warm bodies in the room. 417 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,714 It turns out it's "honor a celebrity" season, 418 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,233 and everybody's booked. 419 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:44,877 Well, personally, I think celebrities 420 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,671 get honored too much anyway. 421 00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:49,795 I mean, how does being famous equate to helping society? 422 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,279 The guy who bags our groceries impacts our community 423 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,719 more than Nicole Kidman does. 424 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:54,935 [Laughter] 425 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:56,554 You just gave me an idea. 426 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,424 Oh! Are you going to the grocery store? 427 00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:00,896 I am depleted from all the lovin' I've been getting. 428 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,567 I need gatorade and drano. Ooh, not related. 429 00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,287 [Laughter] 430 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:05,601 [Introductory musical note] 431 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:12,261 Dee Dee, this is beautiful, but why is there 432 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,126 an ice sculpture of little Richard? 433 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,437 [Laughter] 434 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,313 It looked like my mom an hour ago. 435 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:18,834 [Laughter] 436 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,918 And everyone is here except her. 437 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:23,657 She's been practicing her grand entrance for weeks. 438 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,098 I had to talk her out 439 00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,395 of being lowered from the ceiling on a swing. 440 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,151 [Laughter] 441 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:32,282 Hey, Spencer. Saw your new onslaught outside. 442 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,846 Very nice. 443 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,813 Thanks. That's my baby. She's pretty special. 444 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,372 The valets think so, too. 445 00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,719 They're taking turns racing it down the block. 446 00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:42,329 I knew I should've rode my bike. 447 00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:43,989 Brother can't have nothing nice! 448 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,073 [Laughter] 449 00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,556 Thank you. 450 00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:49,472 Well, the diva's limo has arrived. 451 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,247 I have to cue her entrance music. 452 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:54,431 She recorded it herself. I don't make these things up. 453 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:55,998 [Laughter] 454 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:57,565 [Slow song] 455 00:15:57,652 --> 00:16:00,742 ♪ I used to hide ♪ 456 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,749 ♪ where love couldn't find me ♪ 457 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,272 [Applause] 458 00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:06,695 [Laughter] 459 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,491 ♪ What I thought was foolish... ♪ 460 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,452 Lord. How many photographers am I paying for? 461 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,576 [Laughter] 462 00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,278 Where's the bar I'm paying for? 463 00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,185 [Laughter] 464 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,200 [Song continues] 465 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,152 Thank you so much for honoring us tonight. 466 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,811 We really appreciate you. 467 00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,594 You're so welcome, so deserving, 468 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,159 so ordinary. Who are you? 469 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:28,864 Excuse us. 470 00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:31,084 Mom, there's something I need to tell you. 471 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:34,124 I don't see my stars. Where are my stars? 472 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,910 Instead of honoring celebrities, 473 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,215 tonight you're honoring teachers, police officers, 474 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,562 social workers, nurses. 475 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:41,871 Is it Mariah Carey's nurse? 476 00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,257 [Laughter] 477 00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,220 These are the unsung heroes of everyday 478 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:49,139 who really deserve to be celebrated. 479 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:52,575 - Whose terrible idea was this? - This event is a terrific idea. 480 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,673 Now this is a story that needs to be told. 481 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:57,022 - It does? - Photographer: Yes. 482 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,063 It captures the true meaning of the season. 483 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,113 You're a bright, new, philanthropic star 484 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,195 for everyone to look up to. 485 00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,894 Can I get a picture for the ap wire? 486 00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:08,031 Of course. [Chuckles] 487 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:11,514 And I will hold my lantern up to shine a light 488 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:15,025 on the unsung heroes of everyday life. 489 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,431 Even if they're poorly dressed. 490 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:17,823 [Applause] 491 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:18,906 [Laughter] 492 00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:22,518 [Big Dee Dee groans] 493 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,313 Glen couldn't make it, but he wanted me to thank you 494 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:28,963 for acknowledging contributions of firemen. 495 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,528 Well, his courage and bravery should be celebrated. 496 00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,655 Dating you is truly a colossal act of kindness. 497 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:34,748 [Laughter] 498 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:39,356 I'll ignore that since you're finally doing something good. 499 00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:42,279 I guess when you peel back all those superficial layers, 500 00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,755 there's more underneath than just a tall, bald man. 501 00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:45,886 [Big Dee Dee gasps] 502 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,237 [Laughter] 503 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:49,417 Moving along. 504 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,723 There is a very special guest waiting to see you. 505 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,810 Mom, your very first acting teacher. 506 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:59,170 Joanne chavis. I'm speechless. 507 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:02,602 I couldn't miss checking in on my number one student. 508 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,560 Plus, your daughter flew me first class from Topeka. 509 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,299 [Laughter] 510 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,700 Well, I'm afraid I haven't lived up to that reputation. 511 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,534 The big roles just aren't coming. 512 00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:15,702 It's not about big roles, Dee. It's about your passion. 513 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:17,530 And you can never be a failure 514 00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:19,188 when you're following your heart. 515 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,542 So true. Oh, thank you for coming 516 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,452 all this way to remind me of that. 517 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:27,238 Any reason to get the hell outta Kansas. 518 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:28,323 [Laughter] 519 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:31,716 Excuse me a minute. 520 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,546 Baby, how did you manage to make all this happen? 521 00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:37,115 Mom, I know it's not exactly what you wanted... 522 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,293 But it is exactly what I needed. 523 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:42,379 Oh, thank you. Well, my new fans await. 524 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:43,689 - [Both laugh] - Got get them. 525 00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,467 Good job, honey. 526 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,411 Your mother's happy. I don't know how you did it. 527 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,892 I don't wanna know how much you did it for, 528 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,482 but you did it. 529 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,476 Well, you can't put a price on mom's happiness. 530 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:56,656 That much, huh? 531 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:57,700 [Laughter] 532 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:01,968 Hey. You look like you're feeling better. 533 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:05,623 I am. I'm really glad that you came. 534 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:08,319 I'm sorry that I've been a little distant lately, 535 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,498 but what I've been struggling with 536 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:14,414 is our physical relationship. No, I mean it's great. 537 00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,241 Really, really, really great. [Laughs] 538 00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:20,677 But I just think we need to slow things down 539 00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:23,158 so we can let our emotional connection catch up, 540 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,119 and so I can actually get some work done 541 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,037 - and keep my job. - [Chase laughs] 542 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:28,342 I'm happy to hear that. 543 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:30,038 - You are? - Yeah. 544 00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:32,255 I mean, once we started down that path, 545 00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,215 I was feeling the pressure to keep it up. 546 00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,873 So, I'm happy to slow down, 547 00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:37,367 because I'm not sure how much stamina I have left. 548 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,393 [Mona laughs] 549 00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:41,091 Wow. I thought it was just me. 550 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,750 Mona, I'm in this for the long haul. 551 00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:47,324 Ok? So, let's just take our time and enjoy each other. 552 00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,143 [Both chuckle] 553 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,761 Well, not that we haven't been enjoying each other, but... 554 00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,152 Yeah, I know what you mean. 555 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,405 [Introductory musical note] 556 00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:57,666 I used to be a commoner. 557 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:58,761 [Laughter] 558 00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,640 I have a toast. 559 00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,112 The next time we have a problem, 560 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,032 let's just communicate. 561 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,506 Agreed. Let's be open and honest. 562 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:08,597 [Mona chuckles] 563 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:13,727 You know, being open and honest is kinda sexy. 564 00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,481 Yeah. I'm feeling it. 565 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,302 Let's go communicate at my place. 566 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,780 I'll give you some holiday cheer. 567 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,309 Are you gonna be naughty or nice? 568 00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,793 Both. 569 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,442 I'll get the car. 570 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:24,606 [Laughter] 571 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,881 [Introductory theme song] 572 00:20:28,931 --> 00:20:33,481 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0